In the wake of Covid-19 pandemic, I have seemed to be even more vulnerable to diseases or particular conditions that include fatigue or weariness. In addition to losing memory, my brain seems to be slowing down when processing things, resulting in anxiety. I can't help being fussed about daily stuff that needs organization and immediate responses.
When I told my friends about this tendency, most would think the opposite as if I'm in fact humblebragging in some ways. In my 40s, trying to impress people by boasting or being modest has never been an option. To be frank, I no longer need that stage of taking pride in anything. To be able to survive the ongoing trials in sustainable economy and wellness are what really matter and I'll be doing at all costs without disregarding important values.
When I let myself be absorbed in today's hectic life, especially the loomingly-said global crisis, I have submitted to a life of vulnerability. Too much consideration is nothing but harmful to decision-making as well as my physical condition. As inevitable as it can be, demonstrating indifference has likely become a choice of excellence up till now.
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| Every decision, no matter how personal, is worth fighting. |
Too often it is being indifferent that makes me strong and walk tall in many situations. Knowing too much sometimes creates depression and extra precautions that are somehow counterproductive to growth both financially and spiritually. Taking things for granted may not always be ideal, but taking everything into account too much seriously will guarantee no peace or solace.
To be intentionally deaf aka not giving a fuck
As far as I'm concerned, I can refer to this condition as being ngopok. Ngopok is a Javanese word that derives from kopok meaning deaf. While kopok is a natural occurrence, ngopok is a deliberate action to not listen to what's not paramount. By ngopok, we choose to not give a fuck about what other people say or think in response to our current situations. It doesn't imply that we lack awareness, but there's more promptness to stay on our lane of concerns.
So when you're able to be indifferent on many issues, it's very unlikely that you'll be gopok (vulnerable) in terms of material or mental condition. The courage to be ngopok gives us more space to gain more independence as to become who we truly are without the fear of reckless judgment or imminent agony.
